You know the classic "where on earth is it - oh, it's in my hand"? Well here's a modern twist: "where is my iPhone? Oh, it's in my hand, and I am reading an article in it while I wonder where it is"

Are you Irish or French? Do you want to trade iPods? Irish accents and French words sound best, have you noticed?

Here is the chorus of Frightened Rabbit's Modern Leper:

Is that you, in front of me,
Coming back for even more of exactly the same?
You must be a masochist
To love a modern leper on his last leg

He carved five chairs for them, they always liked to sit in the evenings

Can't help but imagine some sad Etruscan spending days carving chairs for his/her dead relatives.


I'm doing schoolwork right now. I've been doing these: focusing less on the very moment and more on my end goals; paying attention to a thorough work schedule. I'm tired of failing myself and it's time to change. So far so good.

Emotions are so strange and sometimes I don't know if I want them to stay or go! Whatever! I'm going back to work.

Today's a fine day.

Do you want to know something interesting about humans? Humans can be on the brink of an emotional breakdown, but with all of their conflict internal. Some humans you can look at and have no idea. It happens often. It's called composure. I observed this of myself today and found it interesting.

I am a little stressed about school and such. But, I have decided that it is a fine day. I have developed the mental habit of thinking either the phrase "fuck today!" or "today is 'fuck' day!" It's time to can the fuck-jaw, stressberry. Fuck day is on its way out, and fine day is in vogue.

Time to drop dill and get to the sniffy-wiffy on this bad ball baby.

Real Life Ethics!

Hm. I if you are in trouble for something you did, even though you think you were in the right, should you lie about it?

As part of my ongoing campaign to increase my stress level, I was reading local bicycle harassment stories instead of doing homework. An example: Bus driver dangerously cuts off cyclist and gives cyclist the finger, gets reported, denies all. Him being the antagonist of this story, I thought "what an evil-doer, and to lie about it to boot!"

But then, the critical question: what would I have done in his shoes? Obviously, I would not have flipped off the cyclist, and I can't drive a bus. But, strip it down: to be in a public service position, and go against one's employer's wishes in an act of believed righteousness. That is ethically what the bus driver did, and it is something I would do too, depending on the circumstance (of course, it seems the bus driver and I have a very different idea of righteousness).

But would I lie about it later? In my line of work, I would never lie about anything I do - the well-being of children are at stake, and thus I yield to the judgment of my managers. That's not fair though; I'll have to imagine if I drove a bus. And that does, indeed, change things.

So, bird-flipping aside, was the bus driver right to lie about it? I'm leaning towards no. By working for this agency, the bus driver has committed him/herself to represent them and perform the agreed-upon duties. If their policies conflict with your personal campaign of righteousness, it is not honest to be in their employ. They provide the bus driver with pay and benefits, and to take those pay and benefits while not returning it with good work, I think, is not right.

So, I think I will never lie to an employer.

BUT would I lie to my government? My government, who provides me with many services at a small cost - services I depend on? My government, who is (theoretically) supported by my society, who in turn raised me and educated me? What they ask for in return is that I obey their laws. I don't. Not all of them.

Now, that is tough. I can't reconcile my rejection of many aspects of the government and society with my debt to them. I currently feel no overpowering moral obligation to be honest to an agent of the government, such as a police officer or a court of law. What is my right? What am I entitled to?

I never thought I would have a 15-year plan

OK, guess what, it's blog time.

The list that follows is my secret 15-year plan. Now, I call it secret because I don't want to be held up to it. To be a professor has always been a "secret" plan. Don't expect me to see it through at all costs.

1. Get an honours degree.
2a. Get a library tech diploma through SIAST (surprise!)
2b. Do a job that pays real money, e.g., one in a library
3. Masters in history
4. Consider a masters in library science
5. Ph.D related to history
6. Sweet academic job

And here's a thought that occurred to me tonight, and brought me here to blog to you: If I'm having trouble staying on top of university right now, what difference does it make to pause my degree and go for the library program this fall? University is tough because it is more abstract and less structured, in a way. Everything is ideas, concepts floating around. Cat was telling me that, although an engineering degree is an insane amount of work, it's harder to fall behind because you have things due every week or so that you must do. In arts, things are due far in the future, and it's up to the student to structure themselves and manufacture weekly "assignments" to keep them on top of their long-term projects.

This is relevant because: a SIAST program would be much more structured and less abstract than my current university program. I imagine there would be more deadlines and such that cannot be shirked. I'll have to ask mom about it, because she did that program many years ago.

Because, if I get a library certificate, no matter what I will always have that certificate. Even if I get it and can't get a library job that goes well with school, I can still get one after my degree is done. Then I would work for a while and then go for the next degree. The hope would be that the structure helps me get in the right mindset to return to school, because my mindset right now is kind of all over the place. I don't see a downside with getting the lib tech done this fall instead of later.

Well, actually, downsides: Two years of library learning is a lot of time to forget history learning. Also, starting this Fall would not give me a chance to apply for small-time library jobs (such as a page), and thus be less aware of what it means to work in a library.

Bonus upside: Working towards a library diploma looks good on a library-related resume.

Well, I've spent long enough on this blog post, time to wrap it up.

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Unfortunately for my want to "wrap it up," I watched Helen of Troy today, and noticed something in common with other old clips I've been watching on youtube - ancient battles in classic films. Watch merely 5 seconds of each link and see if you notice it. It's not the music, the costumes, or the dialogue. I'll be impressed if you can guess it! Leave a comment if you do!

Helen of Troy
The 300 Spartans (watch for a whole minute if you want to see their sweet anti-cavalry manoeuvre).
Spartacus

Did you notice? They all have this crazy idea that ancient formations would fight with one rank at a time! Whose idea was that? How could anyone imagine that they would spread their ranks out, instead of fighting in one tight block of troops? With no one behind you, if you get knocked back, you fall down. With some extra support, say, if a few of those thousand troops stood right behind you instead of far away, you're probably a lot less likely to die. Common sense, folks.

You're probably bored now, but I just thought it was remarkably strange that these three movies all shared this ridiculous notion. Perhaps it was written in an academic journal of the time. It's just absurd.

If a group 10 ranks deep charges at a group 1 rank deep, the single rank ends up on their butts. Anyone can figure that out.

The idea has been corrected in modern media: Clip1 Clip2

I feel better; I relaxed!