Monday, June 13, 2011
Here's what's weird about my approach to university
I want to learn as much as I can from each of my classes. I want to keep the knowledge. But that is very hard! I have to do well, and think about it later.
It's just... OK here:
I want to get educated. I don't want a degree. I don't want to be a lawyer or a teacher or an engineer. I want to learn about things. I want to be a knower. If the conservatives win another election in 2015, and blue goons break into my house for evading work in the salt mines, and they rip up my degree, I don't want it to matter. I want my degree to exist in my head. For real. Forever.
People ask what my career goal is. My only goal right now is knowledge. The pursuit of knowledge seems like a fine career to me, so I am keeping that option open.
What's the point of taking a class if you don't remember any of it? On the other hand, how are you supposed to remember all of that? I should probably be aiming for 90s in all of my classes, if knowledge is my goal. I have a bad memory though, truly. I got 90-something in Philosophy 133, but I don't remember what Sartre's big thing was.
I might have written a post just like this a year ago; I felt this way then. But when school came I procrastinated a lot. I could have done... so much better. My room is a mess and I am frustrated with my disorganization. It's hard to change. I plan to change, to get better at working, staying organized. I plan to do it sometime.
Oh jesus christ it's 10.25. fuck.
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2 comments:
I'm loving this - "People ask what my career goal is. My only goal right now is knowledge."
Over the past few years I've been worrying like heck over what I want to be, what I am going to do with my life etc. I look back and think what's the point, though I do find myself doing this still. All I've ever said to people who have asked me the same question is "I'm just going with it, and see what happens". Because the truth is, all I want to do is learn about everything. Pretty impossible aim but I can at least try :)
At least I am not the only one!
Emma.
Not to be discouraging, but you will always feel like you are forgetting more than you're learning... or at least that has been my experience after 11 years of post-secondary study. That said, I think you'll find that first year is the most daunting in this regard, because you've just been presented with unmanageably vast overviews of a variety of subjects. With each subsequent year, you'll find yourself gradually reinforcing your existing knowledge, as each class builds on what was learned before. In the end, you're left with a sound, mutually bolstered edifice of information. Since the brain is an associative network, the more links that you can create, the more firmly they will be stored in your grey matter.
Regardless, I can only commend you on your attitude towards learning... In my couple of years of experience teaching at the University, I only met a handful of students with such a level of pure curiosity and intellectual motivation. Good on you, sir.
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