I am an overthinker. I dwell on bad experiences, churning them over. I believe I developed this in order to learn from my mistakes and plan out ways to improve.
However, consider this flowchart:
feel stress => consider the inciting event => don't let it go => blow it up into something bigger => go back to start
What I need to learn is to forget about it. Not forget about it, but stash it. If it doesn't require more thought, it should be put away for later. This is what I need to improve on. Perhaps I need more things to think about, so that stupid things don't take brain priority?
If this was Hyperbole and a Half, this post would be marked with a bunch of silly drawings to make it entertaining. I think the reason I don't post on this blog anymore is that I don't see how it is worth reading. I don't know. Or maybe I am becoming a more private person. Two years ago I probably would have written about the inciting event. It is nothing I am embarrassed about; I will tell you if you ask me. But I don't want to blog about it. It's a personal matter, to be discussed personally.
---------
Oh hey, there's this one six-year-old at work who went to the children's festival with school and got his face painted black (in order to be a "gorilla"). The next morning his face was still black! Just smeared and hideous from sleeping on it, of course. Before his mom left, she said to him "are you sure you don't want to was your face?" and he shook his head. "Okay," she sighed, with sarcasm.
Hey guess what, you're in charge. You are responsible for your kid. Derp. She's a bit weird.
Everyone just has kids like it doesn't fucking matter. You want kids? Have 'em. You can do what you want. Do things because you want to do them. Great. Go ahead.
That was fun. Blogging feels good. It was the anecdote that felt good though, not the discussing of my problems. Do I need to blog to feel good, or simply write? Writing is exciting for me, and I focus on it. Maybe when I feel bad about something I should write, not necessarily blog, just write.
Thanks for reading. Really. See you next time, which may be soon, or later, or perhaps never. But if you take something from reading my thoughts, I appreciate that. I appreciate that you appreciate me.
Sayonara!
2 comments:
I like the ol' blag. But I confess to having pretty much exactly the same misgivings about the usefulness of blogging. I'm not sure if it's morbid curiosity or some genuine wish to be up to date on the inner workings of my friends, but for the most part, I would rather read my friends' blogs than almost any other blog.
So don't blog for my entertainment, but if you blog, I will read it and find it in some way useful.
Hey Hadge,
I've been dealing with some of the same issues, but in the end decided that the blogging process itself is of worth to me (as discussed in my most recent post). Perhaps you are more self-directed than I am, but I find it far easier to write when I know that people are going to read it. Also, I've found that that blogging can actually lead to real world conversations, especially when your audience basically consists of friends and family.
Anyway, I encourage you to deal with your blog as you see fit, but know that I will be reading as long as you see fit to keep writing.
Post a Comment